The multiple things 'L' stands for !!!

Place : 1053, Sector 39, Gurgoan

        Sitting in the balcony of my place at Gurgaon  , as I think about the past 8-9 months of my stay at Gurgaon , I smile and feel low . A weird kind of feeling !!!

        These Monday morning Conf calls , no team at office to hang out with on daily basis , no parties , lonely weekends at home , watching movies at theatres alone , roaming around Delhi monuments and places alone , trying out new food joints by myself ... 

'L'ife took a 360 degree turn for me. 

        If I ask myself am I happy or satisfied with this part of life , mind would say 80% Yes and 20% No. 

        Loneliness is a bad ally and good teacher. It teaches you to be self- dependent , not only at carrying out physical activities and daily chores , but also to be self- dependent for happiness of self. 

       Going through those long weekends, I hated those . Having 48 hours to tackle all by yourself at a lonely house , which is not actually your home. Work and office sounded better than that.  

       Every evening , I would start calling any random friend from yesteryears , who was or was not in contact with me , and talk for a hour and half . Every friday night , Dominoz used to get a call for an order of 1+1 Cheeseburst , which would make me happy and sail through the weekend loneliness and grumpiness. 

       You try everything in your capacity to make yourselves occupied with something . Slowly , I realised it needed to be productive and indulging , rather than junk . Painting , reading , travelling and exercising then started taking centerstage and continue to be so. 

      The mind still yearns for someone close to be there with, to hang out with, to talk to , to be with Mom & Dad. But this decision of being away from home was mine and for some reasons. Experiences teaches you , and the one of last year made me realize I need to self-dependent and accountable for primarily my happiness . And on that front , I feel I am very well - balanced now . 

    Yet I feel like calling out to someone who shall be mine . And the mind says "Stop !! Dont. Not just now. " I then I stop . 

    I know I am blessed and happy till the day Mom & Dad are with me in every sense. And this feeling shall take me all the way. Always. As it has been.